


Reluctance & Understanding

by Voshell



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Ambiguous Relationships, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Canon Compliant, F/M, Manic Episode, Sauna, Sauna as a Location
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-23
Updated: 2019-08-23
Packaged: 2020-09-24 13:55:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20359615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Voshell/pseuds/Voshell
Summary: Worried about the boar prince after several years, Felix persuades their dear professor to learn more about what’s going on. Byleth reluctantly agrees at first but sometimes that can lead to learning more than one would think.**This is meant to take place around Chapter 15 or 16**





	Reluctance & Understanding

**Author's Note:**

> Big shout out to the Dimileth discord for starting this idea off as a silly little prompt with the sauna that grew into something way longer than I thought and with more angst then I thought~
> 
> Please enjoy!

Five years.... these walls held so many memories. Joy, sadness, anger, regret. Despite the current state of things, no one could ever change that.

Fingers running against the stone crevasses, a younger woman sighed as she reflected on what Gilbert discussed with her, and now having to deal with the Knights of Serios. Her bright emerald eyes roamed, darting as need objects or people caught her eye. But Byleth stopped for no one as she moved throughout the corridors. There was no rhyme or reason to where she was going. 

Thoughts though.... thoughts were ever moving. 

"Professor?" "Are you alright?" "It's been years." Ignoring the villagers and knights, Byleth kept to herself, a grimace upon her features as she kept moving. As if looks could absolutely kill right now. 

A stern, matter of fact voice snapped her out of her endless questions as she made it towards the classrooms. "Oi, Professor. What in the world has happened to you? Such an expression on your face. Tsk." Felix.... 

Of course, only one such student would be as brash and blunt as he. Yet as a mentor, it was a welcome change. He had grown up, there was an air about him. Not one that had changed too terrible, but one that had seen the world around him with those shrewd eyes. 

Byleth stayed silent, giving him but a small chance to retort if he so chose. But he still remained silent back. Ah, it figured. "Yes, is there a problem with that? We all have our days."

Rubbing his forehead, the black-haired male shook his head with his signature nonchalant shrug. “No. It just seems out of place for you of all people. Someone who should be focusing on the task at hand and not with their head up in the clouds.” His words were curt, dry and to the point. 

“You never change.” Byleth retorted with a smile back. A small break from her thoughts, one that she had appreciated. Considering it was only one of her students, she had no problem revealing just a little wouldn’t hurt - would it? A deep breath, the professor explained. “Just a little preoccupied with things that have been happening as of late. I’m still unsure about what we should do, considering the gravity of our situation and… still understanding what’s happened in the last few years while I have been gone.” There out in the open. 

The Fraldarius heir stood there, staring her down with those amber eyes. Byleth glanced to the side and then back to him. No response caused her to feel awkward when she normally expected a quick banter with the boy… no, man. His arms crossed as he closed his eyes, with a soft grunt. 

“I see.” That was it? Where was the rest of it? Byleth’s eyes grew large in anticipation for something else. A moment of utter silence outside of the flapping of the pegusi, wyverns, and owls overhead. “You aren’t the only one. That doesn’t make you special, Professor. We’ve all been through hardships - some of us… worse than others. But we just have to continue forward, looking towards are own goals.”

Byleth stepped backward, lifting her hand to her chest as she took it in. “Well, I suppose you are right. You’ve dealt with the Empire’s movements far longer than I…” She massaged her forehead, a forlorn gaze. 

“Mmm… right. Some of us more than others. Especially that ‘_ thing’ _ in the cathedral.” Felix placed his hand to his hip, glancing up towards the sky. He sighed deeply before continuing. “On the subject of the boar, could you try to talk some sense into him and get him to _ try _ to take a bath? Whatever allies we have here are complaining, and to be honest, he’s a complete joke right now that will barely listen to anyone. Perhaps you can talk a little sense into him.”

Pointing to herself, Byleth blinked at him and then glanced down at herself. Having to deal with Dimitri over the last month had proved difficult for many. And here was Felix, asking or rather, was that, hoping, the professor would be able to do something. 

The professor moved towards him, placing a hand on Felix’s shoulder as she was about to walk by him. “That’s if he will listen. You know better than anyone else, it's a rough path ahead to see if he’ll even make the attempt to listen.” Her grinned, nodding as he wished her luck and headed off to who knows where.

Her shoulders grew stiff as she took her time to make her way past the bridge. The looming cathedral did nothing to calm the nerves. If anything, it accelerated the feelings of dread she had inside. How was this discussion going to go? Was Dimitri not even going to say a word to her the first time this had happened? Or would it be worse? Thanks, Felix. No pressure here, right?

Even after spending almost a year here, this place always gave her a sense of mystery and uneasiness. But she could never quite place it. Byleth noticed the small groups of the congregation talking on the sides or in the pews. A few over towards the west were praying while another were going over what architecture that managed to survive after the battle of Gregg Macc and marvelling in its beauty. Even with the weight of the current world, people could still be open and find some joy in small things or still praise the Goddess. Perseverance is a virtue, that was for sure.

Below the wrecked statue of the Goddess, there stood who Byleth was looking for. His movements were easy to read. That pelt of fur and the bright blond hair stuck out like a sore thumb compared to everyone here. _ Deep breaths, Byleth. You’ll be fine. _

The sound of her heels sounded louder than normal, her senses more attuned to what was going on around her. The stiffness from before crept further down her body as she drew closer. Her throat gasped for hair as his body grew larger to her. Right now, this holy place felt smaller than ever. One deep breath, and she held out her hand. Fingers trembling, she had to do it. Even if this gruffer, harsher version of her student scared her just a little, she needed to. “Dimitri…Can w-we talk?” Her voice quivered at the response.

“Go away.” The prince growled, only ‘looking back’ towards her direction with his paced side. His attention stayed at the rubble of statue, muttering inaudible things. 

Another go at it. Her voice kept that same nervousness as before. “Dimitri...please can w--”

“Go away!” His gruff voice started to grow louder. It caused some close passersby to whisper, but go back to their own conversations.

Knowing this was going to need more persuasion, Byleth kept her fears at bay for now. “Dimitri, we need to talk.”

The soft clank of his armor drew her in, it was his fist. He stayed silent. She tilted her head, holding her breath. Was he ignoring her? 

Her hand reached out for him again. Her nerves started to turn to slight agitation at Dimitri’s response going silent. Grip firm against his armor, Byleth held herself together, unwavering as she called him out one more time. “Look, Dimitri, we need to talk - whether you want to or not.”

His hair swished, his arm jilting forward, trying to break free of her grasp. She brought back her hand when he did. Even in this state, his force was jarring as Dimitri glanced back at her with that lone, ice-blue eye. “What do you want?” Unfaltering, demanding. 

Byleth tensed under his gaze, as if being judged for removing him from his own little world. His attention was on her now. _ Deep breath, deep breath. _Time was precious and she did not know when a chance would present itself like this again. 

“I was brought aware of your attitude and… rather questionable lifestyle as of late by a few of those under your command.” Damn it, Fhaldarius…. He was lucky she was going out of her way to not bring up names. “You should give some thought to taking care of your own basic needs.”

Dead eyed, Dimitri raised his brows at the mere suggestion. “You take me away from I am doing to talk to me about that? Not interested. No, go, leave me be. I have yet to finish speaking to the others right now.”

Others, he meant those that he was still trying to avenge for. Her gaze lowered to the cracked tile on the ground. He had lost so many and yet he still conversed with them. There was no way around these memories that Dimitri held so near to his heart, to his reason for revenge. Working against it was like working to push a stone wall with just her own strength. 

If she could not work against it, Byleth knew she had to work with it. Shaking her head, the professor smiled to him - once a thing that he called ‘mesmerizing’. Holding out her hand, she countered his reasoning. “Come, Dimitri. Just let them know that you’ll be back in a little while. I’m sure they won’t mind.”

His jaw dropped slightly, shooing that notion away. “They would never allow such a thing, they…” Dimitri paused. “If I leave them for a sec-...” His words and sentences were ending abruptly, not knowing how to counter this argument. “Fine, one bell, no more.” 

Listening to the bell of a new hour start, she made a suggestion. “Two and we have a deal.” 

Byleth kept her cool. Her insides screamed in agony about what could happen in the next few hours. But she refused to let this show in front of Dimitri right now. Hearing his grumbling, she knew he contemplated this agreement before hearing a low ‘fine’. 

The prince took her hand as another sign of this agreement, though he held onto it half-heartedly as if forced. The poor boy had refused, but had to have seen some reasoning to it. Even if voices still poked at him, Byleth thanked whomever he was ‘talking’ with right now at least gave her a chance to just talk to him in a more… relaxed setting than this one. 

Gripping onto his gauntlet, Byleth played the leader as she started their trek out of the cathedral. The air felt so stale as lead Dimitri out of the building. Seeing the bridge felt like a relief. However, the stares of the knights and monks was something altogether different. Their scared expressions hit home as the pair walked. 

“He’s actually leaving that place?” “I wonder how the professor persuaded him to leave…” “Maybe we shouldn’t look at them. Who knows what Dimitri might do…” “Scary, I wouldn’t want to be caught near him when he’s upset.”

Dimitri’s own hand grasped onto hers tighter as they continued down the only path back. Her heart swelled for the prince and how he listened to all of this. This had to be hard on him to hear, despite how revenge happy he was. Byleth hoped there was an inkling that he wished all of this way as if his grip told her to get out of here - fast. The professor was happy enough to comply with that unspoken request. 

Their journey through the monastery was met with little resistance. More of the same muttering. Byleth could’ve sworn she felt a few more clenches as they continued on with deep growls coming from Dimitri. Tense shoulders again, but perseverance. She had… given her word to Felix and needed to keep on. A stubborn trait she knew she got from her father no doubt. 

None of the other Blue Lions were in sight as they passed the courtyard. Thank the Goddess for that. The amount of people around here started dispersing more than the higher foot traffic areas. Straight ahead was their destination - and a hope that no one was there. 

“You know this is going to be a waste, don’t you? We have more pressing issues than a… bath.” Their silence broke when the lord talked. Dead, that was the tone. “We should be focused on taking Ed--Eh!?”

Byleth took a deep breath as she stopped. The sudden halt spooked Dimitri as he had to hold himself from tripping over the professor. Grunting, he yanked his hand away from her with the cold state in his eye. His were met back with her bright green ones. 

“No, it won’t. And I refuse to think otherwise.” Even if there was no stutter, her voice cracked just a little. Byleth refused to say any more as she kept walking, letting him stay where he was, only turning to see if he continued to follow. Treating him this way…. All this time after these five years felt horrible, but she had to. 

Dimitri waited, his eyes glancing back to the way they had just come from. The way back to the cathedral. Exasperated, he relented to his professor’s instiency. 

Byleth knew what he had decided, hearing those sabatons hitting the ground. Cloak flowing behind her, she listened to that metal, silly as it was. But knowing she made just small bouts of headway here and there was a relief, even if she still felt uncertainty about this whole ordeal. 

_ Ding. One bell, half past the hour. _

Up the stairs she went, the prince still following behind her. Several workers stood in awe at the site of Dimitri when they arrived. The professor went out to one of them to ask if anyone was using the sauna and its baths currently. Her response came in the form of a hushed, terrified whisper that it would be checked. Biting her lower lip, Byleth worried what she had done, but turned to the lord. His eyes stared at the building, still blank. 

The few minutes they waited went without so much as a sound. He said nothing and neither did she. Once the attendant arrived, they told her that the bath had been cleared and that any necessities were in the first room, left hand side. Another whisper - they would make sure to keep the sauna unoccupied for hers’ and Dimitri’s duration. 

Byleth could hear the misunderstandings from across the villages and towns of the land. Responsibility and her dignity were on the line as she explained to the sauna attendant and asked for them to stay watch along with anyone else there. And to be honest, she already had wasted a half hour of the two Dimitri was willing to give. Begrudgingly, the attendants agreed and would keep post. 

“Right…” Byleth held her hand out to Dimitri again, but with her current audience, withdrew it. 

“After you Dimitri.”

“Hmph, no need to be so cordial, Professor.” Dimitri pushed his way past her and the attendants. Just as stiff as the professor had been earlier, these poor workers now felt the same.

Nodding her head, Byleth followed in behind, giving the fur-clad lord his space as he entered. Gods, this was awkward. Great Felix, she had gotten him here - now what was she supposed to do without it making it seem like Manuela’s awful renditions of one of the more poorly written operas. 

Dimitr tilted his head up to the ceiling before turning to gaze back with his left eye. “Thinking of getting something out of this? What a joke...” The tone changed, more manic, livelier “Aren’t you a naive one?”

“No, since I’m not the one stripping.” Checkmate.

“What…?” A moment of confusion turned into a cock grin resting upon his features. His eye closed, Byleth took the opportunity to move to the room with supplies. “And deny having any fun myself while we are here? A little t--”

Behind the closed door, Byleth kept herself from giggling as she heard the lion’s roar from outside of it. It appeared he just realized that she left him there along to go into his little phase of his. Grabbing a small crate, she packed it with a few towels, a pitcher, sponge and soap. Oh, a brush would work wonders, too! 

Hip to the door, the professor eyed Dimitri, still fully clothed. Time to fight his overzealousness right now with fire. “I thought I told you to strip.” Actually, scratch that. “Nevermind. Just the cape and your top half for now and some of the metal.”

Dimitri’s nostrils flared. “Treating me like a child? Aren’t you and the emperor the same? The dead have no time for this” He grew closer to Byleth. She wasn’t having any of this. “Do you think I’ll let you get away w--” 

Grabbing towel number one, the professor pushed into his face.“I’ll be in the next room when your ready.” If memory served correctly, that was on the other side with a small pool. Their purpose wasn’t here for the actual sauna today - just a plain bath. Byleth swore she could’ve heard some expletives coming from him as she mosey on off again. 

Through the bath door, Byleth took in a deep breath as she set up this ridiculous bath. _ Note to self: screw you, Felix, you should have done this and could’ve done better than a sponge bath _. Filling the pitcher got her thinking. Perhaps the only benefit to this was that it could get Dimitri to relax, even if only for a little. Sure, his mind clasped on its current tangent, but who knew. 

A knock on the door, Byleth announced for him to come in. Like a stubborn boar, Dimitri walked in, hand death gripping the towel she shoved in his face. Her war of words and actions won, as he came in with nothing but his trousers rolled to his knees. Her eyes fell to his scars - they were numerous. Some healed, some not so much. How life had hit him hard in five years. “You are lucky you are not humiliating me in front of the dead. Or else I swear, I would have your head.”

The professor sighed, rubbing the insides of her brow. “Right. This won’t take long and you’ll be able to go back to them soon.” She responded earnestly. “Mayhaps we can talk about them?” 

Dimitri’s eye widened, more of the white showing. The request caught him off guard. “You… want to know about them?” His voice quivered a little. Yet it did not last long. “Perhaps you would like to know how they thirst for vengeance?” Requesting the right conversation got his attention. Now, keeping it proved to be the more difficult.

_ Ding. The school’s melody. The start of a new hour. _

His walking slowed as he sat down near her. The prince slid his bare legs into the water. Byleth settled down on his side, having a clear view of both his chest and back. Her eyes examined them - some of them much fresher than others. Her chest panged with guilt of not being there. Crawling, she aimed at starting on his back.

“Of course, the others and I should know that much. Or what you’ve been doing them while you were missing from the world?” 

The boar laughed, slicking back his hair. His shoulders hunched forward as he still stared forward. “Have you seen them? The others, they are weak and let their fear and worry rule them. Do you think they would care to understand this…. This monster?”

Byleth breathed in as she took the wet sponge and started on his back - taking care of avoiding the deep gash on his left side. Her movements were slow, and Dimitri twitched. “Watch it.” Curt again. 

“To that - I can’t speak for them. A few… maybe not. But remember, they do care about you, Dimitri.” Byleth stated calmly as brought the sponge up and down, trying to wetten down the back softly. 

Dimitri grunted as the sponge went over several of his wounds, saying nothing. “Right - and they question everything.” The prince pulled his hair up for her to get the back of his neck as he continued to talk. “Pathetic, you know.”

The processor had to get this back on track. The last thing she wanted to hear was a tirade on the people closest to him that wanted to help him. “I wouldn’t call it pathetic. They may not always agree with you - but they believe in the end goal.”

“As they should.”

“Right. But… enough about that.” Applying the soap, her concentration remained on his back for now. She stayed calm with him, knowing he could flair up at any time. “Tell me about the people...you talk to. You see.”

Dimitri froze, his left side turning before he shook his head. His back relaxed first, and then his arms slouched. “All of them? Or just a few?”

She hummed to herself. “A few. You could be here hours with all of them - and Your Highness… we don’t have that much.”

A chuckle escaped his lips. Listening to a more relaxed Dimitri than the one that stood to the ruined goddess statue was a treat. “My father? Step mother? Or more recently, my uncle…or Dedue? Pick your options.”

Byleth stopped, holding a finger to her chin as she thought. His father could obviously lead to a longer conversation. He never talked about his stepmother much outside of the one time when he was a student and barely knew a word about his uncle outside of knowing his name was Rufus. And hearing Dedue’s name made her mind grow dark and weary. Quiet as the giant was, he was such a kind, gentle soul. 

“How about your father first? And then… tell me about Dedue…”

_ Ding. Another half hour had passed. _

Closing her eyes, the professor said little more. Laying down the soap, she brought back up the sponge as she rinsed away. The water dropped audibly to the stone ground as she waited. 

“Father - I see him the most often. His ghost, his memory, the most vivid. Soldiers, their blood seeping into the ground around him. Hells, seeing Glenn too. Hand outstretched. I can still hear him to this day ‘Avenge us! Avenge us! I was so y-young at the time.” His hand clenched, punching the ground softly to the side. Byleth jumped a bit in her spot as she let go of what she was holding. “We should’ve never went to Duscur, but Father - he was insistent that we go. Then look what happened! That damned Flamed Emperor - no, Edelgard - did to him, to them, to everyone!” 

Rubbing his cheek, he continued. “How the blood dripped down their face… Do you know that’s what I see when I see him now? And the others, them wanting to color me red until they have been given justice. Do you? Do you!?”

A hand on his shoulder, she squeezed. His hand dropped to the stone again and gave an audible Byleth questioned him, yet already guessed the answer. “And what does he still say now…?”

“The same. To avenge and to kill those that did this to him.” Right on the head, just what she was expecting. “And I can’t stop. No, I won’t stop until I do.” It was futile to talk him down from this - so she let it slide. 

“Arms up.” She quietly suggested. 

His shoulder blade came together in the back as he held out his arms. The muscles - they were there, still in good shape, but there was little fat on Dimitri. Even back with people, Byleth heard reports that he barely ate as is. Observation proved that to be true. Finger sliding against his tricep, the professor shook her head as she started to clean up his arms and sides. 

Dimitri stayed quiet during her examination. Who could know what he was thinking right now? Could he be finding the words to convince her to charge in uninhibited towards the Adrestian Empire? Or perhaps a sneak attack through the borders and use of guerilla tactics? Or perhaps not even battle at all and just how he would exact his end goal towards Edelgard? Damned be it the silenced caused her too many thoughts. 

“And… what about Dedue? What about him?”

For the first time, Dimitri’s voice broke down. Not full of euphoric hate nor crazed fear of the dead. “He… He had to come back for me…” Head hanging lower, the position and his hair stifled his voice, causing her to lean in closer to catch everything. “I told him to leave me, despite being sentenced for my Uncle Rufus’s death.” Covering his mouth, he breathed heavily, his chest jerking upwards. “And…”

Byleth watched the prince as he held back his anguish. Trying so hard to stay strong. This side of him he used for so many years was slowly whittling down here and there if only for a short time. “And…?”

“We arrived to where I was to exit and run… All I could hear was ‘His Highness…. Run… Run!’ Dedue sacrificed himself so I could get out and I… I could do nothing.” Dimitri paused. “And could see Cornelia’s lackeys coming towards him.... but I had to turn towards the monastery and do as he said. How I wanted to help him as he helped me so many times before.” His breathing turned sharp and heavy. The boar prince leaned his head back again. “That… idiot should’ve ran when it was safe… Why… why did he have to leave me alone for so long… like everyone else?”

Finishing up with his arms, Byleth frowned - thinking back on Dedue during their time in the academy. He was such a pillar for Dimitri and kept him calm at times she should’ve noticed. How the man of Duscur always said he owed his life to Dimitri had finally given it when it was needed more. Holding her chest, there was a pang of something… Just like when she had lost her father. 

“Professor… should I have gone back for him? Even if it meant I wouldn’t have made it? Perhaps everything would have ended better that way...”

Standing up, she gazed down at her, brows furrowed. What kind of question was that? What defeatist attitude was that…? Clenching the sponge in her hand, Byleth licked the side of her lip, a nervous tick. “No, things happen for a reason, Dimitri. Maybe you wanted to go back, but his sacrifice would have been in vain if you had. Dedue probably looks at you, happy to know that his job was not in vain - and now that your here with valuable allies.”

A moment. Eyes glazed over, he smiled - one more genuine than those she had seen in a while. Weak, but sincere. “You’re right…. But it doesn’t change what happened…”

“I know…” Byleth crossed her arms, leaning her head to the side as she motioned him to kneel in front of her to finish up.

The prince dragged his legs out of the water, shaking off the water instead of drying. Kneeling in front of her, he kept quiet as she squatted down and examined him again. If the scarred back had been any indication of what happened in five years, his chest was far worse. Most of the scars were healed - but it caught Byleth off guard. “Dimitri…” Eyes widening, she sat there with a look of defeat. 

Dimitri rubbed his bare chest, tracing each of his scars. “These? They all have stories… Ones that you’d be horrified to listen to…” As if showing them off, he held his arms open wide, giving a full view of them all. The one near his midsection appeared fresh, the skin slowly mending itself, but not terribly deep. “To be honest, half of these were a test.”

“W-what? A test?” Did she dare ask for more? Byleth put her hand to her lips, exasperated what he may say next. 

A smirk grabbed onto his features. His soft sincerity was replaced, his eye staring her down. He leaned forward to her, whispering curt words in her ear. “To see if one of those damned Imperials could get me. Mmm, it seems the little Empress can’t train her military well enough to stop a ravaging wolf - a red one at that.” Laughing, he clenched his hand. “Hells, I even invited it at times. I stumbled upon their camps here and there. Bloodying myself here and there - but weak - still all weak! None of them could come close.”

The fear that had subsided before rushed through her skin again. Byleth felt cold, breath shallow as Dimitri was far too close for her liking. Her reaction was to bolt, but he had done nothing. Glaring, she kept her cool, not moving. 

“Ah, even the sheep refuses to stir…” The lord murmured, bring himself away from her. Cupping her cheek into his hand, he patted it before moving away. “Strong-willed as always. I’m surprised you haven’t moved.” A faint chuckle escaped his lips. 

But stark silence in the room was encompassing. 

_ Ding. The second hour arrived. _

Even if he acted like this now…Byleth knew Dimitri was still there. Just from talking about his father and Dedue earlier. But he purposely was locking himself away until the time was right. 

“Two hours. That’s all we agree. Now leave.” Serious and to the point. Yet a hint of somberness. But he didn’t look at her, his gaze just staring below him. His earlier smile formed into a grimace. 

Byleth thanked the Goddess that his time limit saved her from a world of uncertainty with him. “I’ll see you later, Dimitri.” Leaving without so much of another word, the professor did not want to incite the boar further. She removed herself from the room, her thoughts scrambling just as they had earlier in the day. Just too much to think about now and for the future. 

Damn, this sucked.

\-----

While she may have gone, the prince watched his reflection in the water. Little did she know she helped start splinter the past that held him back so. A line streaked his face before several others fell.

No one would see these… No, not yet.

**Author's Note:**

> How I kept this clean and away from smut the entire time is an entire mystery to me. (Granted one part was super close!) I may be writing a follow up to this that gets a bit friskier but wrote this in mind to be stand alone. 
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed! :)


End file.
